Ready, Aim
by WindyHaven
Summary: Maybe Usopp should just keep his inventions to himself.


I know I should feel bad for one of them...but I just can't bring myself to do so. I'll feel bad about it later. Maybe. Not really.

One Piece (c) Eiichiro Oda

* * *

><p>Never one to halt in his unceasing venture to improve his already stupendous standing, Usopp found himself tinkering with a new invention in his workshop one lovely afternoon. Sure, he could have been gracing the other members of the crew with his grandiose tales of heroism as he crafted his genius creation, but he deemed it best not to do so. After all, their brains (not as superior as his own, obviously) could only process so much of such raw story-craft. That, and perhaps Sanji had threatened him with a rather painful kick to the face if he didn't let their ears take a break for a little while. The cook's excuses didn't fool the sniper one bit, but he figured he would humor him and pretend he was actually scared or something ridiculous like that.<p>

With a satisfied click of the tongue, the young pirate holds his new invention aloft. The device is tilted one way, and then the next, each angle catching the light in a different fashion. It appeared to bear something of semblance to a crossbow, though far smaller, and in the place of the arrow was a rather diminutive plunger of sorts. Now where he had got such a plunger, well, that was a story that involved a donkey, several swooning pastors, and a bucket of tuna fish. But, now was not the time to reflect on such a story.

"Seems I even manage to amaze myself!" Usopp remarks, lifting his nose to the air before he pushes himself to his feet. The device hangs loosely in the grasp of his left hand, the other hand reaching for the doorknob before he lets himself out into open air. Immediately, the sniper is greeted by the rambunctious shouts of the younger members (and Brook) as well as the rhythmic, metallic clang of Zoro's weights. A prominent grin on his lips, the liar marches onto deck, coming to stand before Zoro, though his back faces the rather disgruntled looking swordsman.

"Come one, come all! Come see my latest, most magnificent invention!"

Usopp is only greeted by silence, and then Luffy finally has the good grace to shout over his shoulder from somewhere on the other side of the ship,

"Sorry, Usopp, but Chopper just caught the freakiest looking shark ever! We'll come see it later!"

Aghast, the sniper stumbles back, only to trip over Zoro's outstretched foot. Promptly, he stumbles and falls rather unceremoniously into the older man's lap. Zoro does not appear all too pleased by this development. So, being the barbarian he was, he had the gall to shove Usopp from his person and onto the lawn. And Usopp would have complained about such mistreatment too, had he not come to the realization that he had Zoro's attention. Zoro seemed to come to this revelation as well, as evidenced by the widening of his eyes. He was a captive audience.

"Ah, damn…"

Smiling much like how Zoro does when he corners a rather stupid and/or helpless marine, Usopp leans forward on his hands, all the closer to Zoro's face. In turn, the swordsman turns his gaze to the left, making a face as he does so. Suddenly, the younger of the two raises his new device up to waggle in Zoro's peripheral.

"See this? This is my newest, greatest invention. The Usopp-Pluunnnn….uh…ger!"

Zoro deadpans at this, one eyebrow arching dubiously as he sets his weights to the side.

"Usopp Plunger? What are you going to do, fix the toilets?"

Usopp slaps him on the shoulder rather indignantly; a muffled huff passes his lips.

"No! This is a weapon of great power and destruction! You just wouldn't be able to tell since you only swing those sticks around."

At this, Zoro scowls, fingers dancing along the sheathed length of his weapons. Usopp immediately flinches back, hands reaching up to cover his face. This defense mechanism was only triggered out of sympathy for Zoro of course. The green-haired man wasn't really all that scary.

…

Kind of.

"Anyways!" Usopp squeaks, waving his hands before his face in a placating manner. Hopping to his feet, the young man waves his device around in a grand, dramatic arc. "Let me prove how amazing this weapon is! Give me a shot. Something to shoot at!"

As much as Zoro would have loved to tell Usopp to bug off so he could take a nap, he allows his dark eyes to slide about the deck. It is at that moment that the galley door swings open, Sanji prancing out with sweet-laden tray in hand. Obviously something for the women, but that wasn't what was important at the moment. Diabolical smirk coming to his features, Zoro folds his arms over his broad chest before reclining into the mast. He jerks his chin once in the cook's direction before chuckling,

"Let's see you hit a moving target. Get the cook's eyebrow. Guy's practically a dartboard as it is."

Swallowing hard, Usopp glances back just in time to see Sanji returning from the upper decks, empty tray tucked under one arm. Not one to ever back down from a challenge, especially one as easy as that, Usopp jabs a thumb to his chest before announcing,

"Of course. Just watch and learn, my friend! Sanji, over here!"

With that said, Usopp readies his weapon before letting loose the plunger. It soars through the air, wind whizzing behind it. Sanji, who had possessed the misjudgment to actually turn and regard his crewmate, is gifted with a miniature plunger smacking him in the brow. Wincing, the cook stumbles back before reaching up to yank it off of his face.

Not that Usopp was terrified and about to piss his pants already, but confronting a chef that looked that angry was never a good idea.

The swordsman's uproarious laughter was only halted once Sanji nearly brought Usopp to the brink of death and made to assure it would be Zoro's turn next.


End file.
